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(A Biblical View of Marriage)
by Samuel E. Ward
Introduction
Something of the purposes of an architect can be known by the design he creates for the building he hopes to see constructed. The same is true of the Creator and His universe. We can gather some information concerning His intentions for His creation from its design. Combine that with explicit statements about His intentions revealed in the Scriptures and one can derive a rather clear teaching on God's intentions for marriage.
I am indebted to Dr. Norm Geisler for a well-constructed presentation of some of the general principles concerning marriage as found in the Bible. Commentary in addition the major points of the outline is my own except where Geisler is quoted.
I. The Biblical View of Marriage (Norm Geisler)[i]
A. The Nature of Marriage
1. Marriage is between a male and female.
Genesis 1:27-28 (NIV) 27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
I would add these observations to Geisler's:
a. The male and female relationship was set as the primary human relationship from which all others would spring.
b. Jesus affirms the primacy of the male-female relationship when He recalls two passages from Genesis (Gen 1:27 and 2:24).
Matthew 19:4-5 (NIV) 4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?
Genesis 2:24 (NIV) 24For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
It can also be inferred from the two previous passages that no other human relationship has such a permanence and intimacy attached to it as has the marital relationship prescribed biblically as being between male and female.
2. Marriage involves sexual union.
The biblical text indicates that there were at least three purposes God had in mind when He created sex:
a. To procreate.
Genesis 4:1 (NIV) 1Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, "With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man."
Let me add that in the case of the marriage of believers, God is seeking to use that marriage as a means to raise up the next generation to carry on His mission to reveal and glorify Himself to the world.
Malachi 2:15 (NIV) 15Has not _the LORD_ made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
b. To provide enjoyment for the husband and wife.
Proverbs 5:18-19 (NIV) 18May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.
c. To provide for the basic human need of sexual gratification without resorting to sex outside of marriage which carries with it many risks and dangers to individuals and society as a whole.
1 Corinthians 7:1-9 (NIV) 1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self–control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
3. Marriage involves a covenant before God.
Geisler reminds us that . .
Marriage is not only a union between male and female involving . . . sexual rights, but it is a union born of a covenant of mutual promises. This commitment is implied from the very beginning in the concept of leaving parents and cleaving to one's wife.[ii]
He references Malachi 2:14, and I expand the passage to include verses 13-16, as an explicit statement of the existence of marriage as a covenant relationship and God's expectation that it be honored.[iii]
Malachi 2:13-16 (NIV) 13Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15Has not _the LORD_ made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. 16"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.
The place where unfaithfulness begins is in a person's spirit. Thus we see the Lord's instruction to guard it against whatever would tempt one to violate the marriage covenant. Consider Jesus' teachings from the Sermon on the Mount.
Matthew 5:27-28 (NIV) 27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
4. Marriage is a God-ordained institution for all people, not just for Christians.
Geisler reminds us that marriage was ordained by God before the fall of man and therefore applies to all men of all ages, including today.[iv]
Hebrews 13:4 (NIV) 4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
B. The Duration of Marriage
1. Marriage is a life-long commitment.
a. The principle is implied by Jesus in Matthew 19:6.
Matthew 19:5-6 (NIV) 5and said, "'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
b. The principle is stated unequivocally by Paul in Romans 7:2.
Romans 7:2 (NIV) 2For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage.
2. Marriage is not eternal.
a. The clear statement of Jesus
Matthew 22:30 (NIV) 30At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.
b. The logical conclusion of 1Cor 7:8-9
As Geisler notes, "The fact that widows could remarry . . . indicates that their commitment was only until the death of their mate.[v]
1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (NIV) 8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
C. The Number of Parties in a Marriage
1. God's design for all mankind is that there only be two parties in a marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:2 (NIV) 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
2. God's design for elders in the church is that there be only two parties in a marriage.
1 Timothy 3:2 (NIV) 2Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self–controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, . . .
3. God's design from the beginning was that there be only two parties in a marriage.
God only created one mate for Adam. Her name was Eve.
Concerning polygamy, Geisler writes . . .
[By design nature favors monogamy.] Roughly equal numbers of males and females are born. If God designed polygamy, there should be more women than men. Finally, monogamy is taught by punishment. Every polygamist in the Old Testament paid bitterly for his sin. Solomon is the classic example. The Bible declares that "his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God" (1 Kings 11:4).
The fact that God permitted polygamy no more proves he prescribed it that the fact God permitted divorce indicates that he desired it. What Jesus said of divorce is true also of polygamy; it was "permitted . . . because your hearts were hard, But it was not this way from the beginning (Matt. 19:8).[vi]
II. The Benefits of Marriage
The benefits of a healthy marriage are not only a matter of common sense, tradition, and religious faith. There is also a large body of evidence from social science research that healthy marriage has measurable benefits for children, women, men and society as a whole. Many of these research findings, originally published in an array of academic sources, are succinctly summarized in a report from the Institute for American Values entitled "Why Marriage Matters: Twenty-Six Conclusions from the Social Sciences." That report underscored the following key conclusions:
A. Marriage, combined with a strong commitment to the marriage, fosters positive relationships between husbands and wives.
B. Married mothers are less likely to live in poverty than unmarried or divorced mothers.
C. Married couples build more wealth than single people or cohabiting couples.
D. Married men earn more money than do single men with similar education and work histories.
E. Married people, especially men, live longer compared to otherwise similar single people.
F. The health and income advantages of marriage have been found to extend to African-Americans and Hispanics as well as Whites. These advantages also apply to poor families of all racial/ethnic groups.
G. Children who live with their married, biological parents enjoy better physical health than children in other family forms.
H. Children whose parents divorce are at greater risk of psychological distress.
I. The risk of child abuse is lowest in homes with two married parents.
J. Children of married parents are far less likely to die in the first year of life.
K. Children of married parents fare better academically.
L Marriage also makes it more likely that fathers and mothers will have good relationships with their children.
M. Unmarried cohabitation simply does not offer the same benefits as marriage, and divorce deprives people of the benefits of marriage.
Plus: Why Marriage Matters, Second Edition highlights five new themes in marriage-related research.
N. Even though marriage has lost ground in the minority communities in recent years, marriage has not lost its value in these communities.
O. An emerging line of research indicates that marriage benefits poor Americans, and Americans from disadvantaged backgrounds, even though these Americans are now less likely to get and stay married.
P. Marriage seems to be particularly important in civilizing men, turning their attention away from dangerous, antisocial, or self-centered activities and towards the needs of a family.
Q. Beyond its well-known contributions to adult health, marriage influences the biological functioning of adults and children in ways that can have important social consequences.
R. The relationship quality of intimate partners is related to both their marital status and, for married adults, to the degree to which these partners are committed to marriage.
