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Part 1
by Samuel E. Ward
Introduction
When composing my sermons, I always write my introductions last. This insures that what I promise to tell you at the beginning of my message is carried out by the time I come to the end of it. There was a passage that came immediately to mind as I thought about how to prepare you for that which was to follow in the discussion about biblical sexuality.
It seems to be the view of Scripture that if we can give our bodies to God then the things that lead us into temptation and sin will be minimalized. A lot of sinful thinking is directed toward fulfilling the lusts of the flesh or body. Our need is to concentrate our minds on the process of breaking away from the thinking of the world (which is mainly flesh oriented) and turn to thinking about how to discover and then act upon what pleases God.
Nowhere else does our struggle with secular thinking seem to be so intense than in the areas concerning what we are to do with our bodies and with whom. That is the reason I bring the issue of sexuality to you. Because, though we may speak about and condemn specific kinds and acts of sex, we rarely look at the big picture.
I am indebted to a forthcoming publication from the Salvation Army (Hands that Heal: An International Curriculum to Train Caregivers of Trafficking Survivors) for a well articulated presentation of a general view of both the challenges that face the church in our society relative to sexuality and what is a good representation of a proper view for the church based on biblical principles.[i]
Note: The italicized words are from Hands that Heal, the rest are my own commentary and observations:
I. Three Views of Sexuality
In order to understand God's view of sexuality it is helpful to look at two other views in contrast: the view of the secular world and the view of the church.
A. Secular Worldview of Sex
The world is full of sexual images. One can see and hear depictions of sex in films, advertising, art and music. Sex talks come from psychologists, teachers, children and sometimes parents. It is viewed as a natural biological function.
Some believe sexual urges cannot be controlled once aroused and should not be repressed. In this view, the individuals don't believe in rules or boundaries. They can do whatever they please with whomever they please.
Secular world views suggest that sex makes things better.
· It relieves loneliness, boredom, anger, and stress.
· Engaging in sex even helps physical problems like headaches and certain kinds of cramps
· Not only does sex make life better, it can be used in a secular market to sell anything from motorcycles to toothpaste, to shoes.
· If a sexual image can be added to marketing plan, it will have greater success.
As I reflect on these "benefits" attached to sex, several things come to mind. No doubt sex can do these things but it can also have the opposite effect by leading to loneliness, becoming boring, inciting anger, producing stress—especially outside of marriage.
I also wonder about the maturity of someone who buys motorcycles, toothpaste, and shoes expecting that owning these thing that made others look "sexy" is going to automatically transfer to them without the special lighting, models, and trendy background music that accompanied the advertising presentation. Somehow I never achieved the same effect of becoming the rescuing hero I wanted to be as a child by putting on a homemade mask, straddle a broom, and run around the yard humming the William Tell Overture. No one ever mistook me for the Lone Ranger.
I am afraid, also, that there is the problem of using sex in marketing plans. Most people are prone to be irritated with "bait" and "switch" tactics.
So, if you're unmarried, I would suggest making friends, going bowling, counseling for anger management, and relaxing in a tub to reduce stress. If you've got a headache, take some aspirin.
B. The Church's View of Sex
· Throughout the centuries, the church has tried to counter the world's view of sex.
· It has tried to present sexual purity before marriage and fidelity in marriage as God's plan for sexuality.
· Unfortunately, at the same time, the church has often treated sex as a taboo topic and neglected teaching about sex education.
· Believing that sex is only intended for marriage, sometimes the church has given the impression that teaching about sex should be left until marriage.
· In other cases, the church has taught that sex is only for having children.
· The sexual problems in marriages and individuals have tended to be ignored.
· The church's traditional view of sex stressed morality and faithfulness that God prescribes for sex within marriage.
· However, it has undervalued the importance that God's Word gives to sexual matters.
· Without the balance of biblical teaching about sex, the church's view has sometimes been less than healthy.
I believe that the church has contributed to a warped view of sexuality by teaching "Just Say No" without teaching that there comes a time in life when "Go Ahead, Say Yes" is not only appropriate, but a godly thing to do. Humans did not invent sex. God did. Humans only perverted it so that he/she could obtain pleasure without responsibility and feed lust without learning to love. Biblical sex is designed to create a communion between human beings that makes them bond into one flesh. It's closest humans can come to experiencing anything close to what the Godhead experiences perfectly in its Trinitarian essence. The Trinity is inseparable in its relationship to each other and united in purpose, thought, expression, and commitment to each other. Sex, therefore, is not to be trivialized, profaned, or casually practiced. Our sexuality belongs to someone. That someone is your mate.
C. God's View of Sex
· God created human beings male and female,
· Humans cannot separate who they are from their gender. One's maleness or femaleness infuses one's personality, attitudes, habits, and beliefs.
· God created human beings to be sexual, and God viewed His creation as good,
· In the Bible, sex is presented as a gift to be treasured and shared.
· The book, the Song of Songs gives many images of the Lover and his Beloved longing for each other in a sexual manner. The Lover and the Beloved describe each other's strength, beauty, and love. The Beloved is so taken with her love for her Lover that she warns that younger women, ". . . Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" (Song of Songs 2:7 and 3:5). They cherish one another over everyone else with passion and exuberance.
I still cannot read the Song of Solomon without blushing. I think the Scriptures call that "shamefacedness" (Tim 2:9-
We are not meant to be shamed by sex, but we are meant to treat it with reverence and awe and it is within that context it is enjoyed in its fullest. As previously noted in the passage from Hands that Heal, the power of being awakened sexually is so strong that the Beloved in the Song of Songs 2:3-7 and counsels caution to young women.
Song of Songs 2:3-7 (NIV) 3Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. 4He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love. 5Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. 6His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. 7Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
Let us continue with the text from Hands that Heal
· The Bible suggests that sex is for bonding a husband and wife into a lasting relationship. Scripture repeatedly teaches husbands and wives to remain sexually faithful to their spouse.
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· From the beginning of the creation, God also identifies sex as a reproductive act.
· It will produce children (Genesis 1:28), but it is to be enjoyed and satisfying to both spouses.
· God clearly identifies the boundaries for sex. Husbands and wives are not to engage in sex with anyone outside the marriage relationship. Moses and Paul both write sound advice about sexual boundaries.
In 1 Corinthians we have more than just the statement of boundaries, but principles that, if followed, help prevent the heartaches that come when they are ignored
1 Corinthians 7:2-5 (NIV) 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self–control.
1. Marital sex is to protect against the dangers of immorality.
2. Marital sex is a shared responsibility between mates to see that each other's needs are met.
3. Marital sex should not be held back except for limited times, by mutual consent, for spiritual purposes (I would add that other contingencies might arise such as a mate's illness or pain) with sensitivity extended each to the other partner.
4. Marital sex should resume as soon as possible to combat the issues of temptation connected with self-control.
Only those who are calloused so that they seek their own desires ahead of the needs of the community would discount God's view of sex as "prudish" and "obsolete." We who accept the authority of God's Word should not be surprised by those who sweep away or revise its clear teaching.
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